24. Expectations
The "Expectations" card portrays a young girl holding a basketball, symbolizing the weight of expectations placed upon her shoulders from an early age. As children, we often encounter lofty expectations from our parents, teachers, and society. These expectations can take various forms, such as academic achievements, athletic prowess, or even conforming to societal norms. While some expectations can foster growth and motivation, excessively high or unrealistic expectations can have lasting effects on our self-esteem and well-being.
Childhood is a time of exploration, curiosity, and playfulness. However, when burdened with immense pressure to meet certain standards, the joy of discovery can be overshadowed by fear of failure. The girl on this card represents the child within all of us who once carried the weight of expectations, feeling the need to constantly strive for perfection to gain approval and acceptance.
As we grow into adulthood, the impact of these childhood expectations can manifest in various ways. The fear of not living up to expectations may lead to a perpetual sense of inadequacy, self-doubt, and a constant need for external validation. We may find ourselves trapped in a cycle of striving for success, always seeking external validation to prove our worthiness. This can create a sense of disconnection from our true selves and hinder our ability to tap into our authentic desires and passions.
Furthermore, the pressure of expectations can limit our ability to take risks and embrace failure as a part of growth. When failure is perceived as a reflection of our worth, we may become hesitant to step outside our comfort zones, fearing the judgment and disappointment of others. This mindset can stifle creativity, innovation, and the pursuit of our true passions.
However, it is important to recognize that the girl in this card also holds a basketball, symbolizing the potential for resilience and empowerment. By acknowledging and understanding the impact of childhood expectations, we can embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-compassion. We can learn to redefine our measures of success and embrace the process of growth rather than solely focusing on the outcome.
Through self-reflection, therapy, or other healing practices, we can release the weight of unrealistic expectations and cultivate a sense of self-worth that is not tied to external validation. By nurturing our inner child, we can reconnect with our innate sense of curiosity, playfulness, and authenticity. We can rewrite the narrative of our lives and set new, healthy expectations that align with our true desires and values.
Affirmations:
"I have the right to say no."
"My needs are valid and important."
"I can set boundaries and still be a kind person."
"My worth is not defined by what I can do for others."
"I can honor my needs and still maintain healthy relationships."
Setting Boundaries:
1. Prioritize your own needs.
2. Be clear and specific about what you need and what you don't want.
3. Remember that you do not have to do everything for everyone.
4. Setting boundaries can be a form of self-care, and it can help you to feel more in control of your life.
5. Be aware of your own emotions when setting boundaries. Pay attention to how you feel when someone asks something of you and if it doesn't feel right, it's okay to say no.
6. Don't feel guilty about setting boundaries. Boundaries are healthy and necessary.
7. Setting boundaries can be difficult, but it's important to remember that you are in control of your own time and energy.
Examples:
"I'm not available to help you with this right now, but I can help you with it tomorrow."
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but this is not something I'm comfortable doing."
“Thank you for the invitation, but I'm feeling really tired today and need some time to rest.”
“I'm sorry I can't come over, but maybe we can get together another time?"
Journal Prompt:
Make a list of areas in your life where you feel your boundaries have been crossed. This could be in your relationships, at work, in your community, or with your family. Next to each situation, write how it made you feel and why it made you feel that way. This can help you identify where you need to draw a boundary. Then brainstorm some specific steps you can take to set a boundary.